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Do you enjoy scrolling through Canada’s various gun websites and forums? Is every tablet, phone, and computer you own have at least one browser tab open to and simultaneously? Have you gone through the rite of passage that is being banned from that other Canadian gun forum at least once? If so, and if you work for the federal government already, an internally posted job listing might be of interest to you. Posted on the Public Service Jobs website, on behalf of the RCMP Canadian Firearms Program, is a job many Canadian gun enthusiasts (might) dream of: That of an “RCMP internet firearms investigator.”

What does a potentially successful applicant look like? Well, they have all the usual and expected skills and abilities, such as using databases (cough *firearms reference table* cough), spreadsheets, word processors, etc. They also have open source investigation experience, and internet research experience. And of course, being firearms investigators, knowledge of the Criminal Code and Firearms Act is handy, too. Oh, and they have “knowledge of open source techniques/methodologies on the Internet and Darknet.” If that doesn’t give some clue to the position’s potential role, the listing also calls for potential experience using 3D printing and TAILS; an anonymous live distribution of the Linux operating system made famous by none other than Edward Snowden.

Sounds like a dream come true, right? $80,000+ per year and a great benefits and pension package to (we assume) research guns in Canada, 3D printing of firearms and accessories, and their potential use and applicability to Canadian firearms laws. The only downside? We have a sneaking suspicion that the success of an RCMP internet firearms investigator will be measured by the number things they prohibit, ban, and bar from use and import. Or maybe we’re wrong, and our tinfoil’s just being worn a bit too tightly…

RCMP FIISU job application